Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Pakistan: Lahore High Court among safest places to commit crime in the city, survey finds


“One would think that committing a crime outside a court, you know a place where criminals are ostensibly prosecuted, would be impossible, but our research suggests otherwise.”

Ahmadiyya Times | News Watch | Int'l Desk
Source/Credit: Pakistan Today
By Khabaristan Today | May 31, 2014

Lahore - Our Crime Correspondent: According to a survey conducted by the All Lahore Criminals Association (ALCA), the Lahore High Court (LHC) is one of the safest places to commit a crime. The survey highlighted that if the crime was committed in the name of religion or honour, its safety increased by manifold. The ALCA predicted that the chances of any law enforcement people taking any action if such a crime was committed was minimal and that most people would just stand and watch the whole thing unravel.

The ALCA chairman, while taking to Khabaristan Today said, “One would think that committing a crime outside a court, you know a place where criminals are ostensibly prosecuted, would be impossible, but our research suggests otherwise.” He went on to add that one merely had to have a religious or ‘honour’ subplot and the crime was good to go.

“Just call a barefaced murder an honour killing, and no one would touch you. Even internationally, you would be forgiven on the basis of cultural differences, thanks to the Western liberals. These are good times to be religious fundamentalist and a male chauvinist pig,” the ALCA chief added.
Note: This is a piece of satire and meant to be taken as such.



[Reader assumes full risk of falling for it.]


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