Religion & Common Sense: Putting the faith in faithfulness

As a Muslim, I understand and value the wisdom behind my faith’s instructions on a successful marriage. My understanding of these instructions – plus my sense of morality – prevents me from even considering infidelity. 

Ahmadiyya Times | News Staff | Article
Source & Credit: Portland Muslim Examiner
By Harris Zafar | February 21, 2010


What do Tiger Woods, Alex Rodriguez, John Edwards, Kobe Bryant, David Letterman, Hulk Hogan and Bill Clinton have in common? All of them are joined by a weakness, preventing them from remaining loyal to their wives. These men are just a sample of the growing number of celebrities who have failed to remain loyal in their marriages.

The behavior and actions of famous public figures often influence the rest of us who live normal 9 to 5 lives. So to see a growing trend of such “role models” indulging in extramarital affairs is a matter of concern, especially as we also begin to see this trend growing among the general population in this country and abroad.

Being a married man myself, I often wonder what would lead someone to betray their spouse. As a Muslim, I understand and value the wisdom behind my faith’s instructions on a successful marriage. My understanding of these instructions – plus my sense of morality – prevents me from even considering infidelity.

Unfortunately, high rates of successful marriages are a thing of the past. There has been a continual decline of successful marriages over the past several decades. Between 1991 and 2006, the numbers of unfaithful wives under 30 increased by 20% and husbands by a whopping 45%. Some studies reveal that 45-55% of married women and 50-60% of married men engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their relationship (Atwood & Schwartz, 2002 - Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy).

Religion provides a great framework for living a moral life, and we can even find instructions in the Bible regarding the importance of marriage. For example, we read in the Gospel of Mark that Jesus said about people who get married “they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” Likewise in Islam we find practical guidance on establishing a society of successful marriages.

Marriage plays a pivotal role in the foundation of family-life. Anyone who breaks the covenant of marriage, subsequently, compromises the stability of the family. Is it any wonder that we have seen a gradual decline of family values and the decay of the family unit over the past 10 years?

It is for this reason that Islam stresses the importance of marriage. Muhammad, the Prophet of Islam, once said “When a man has married, he has completed one half of his religion.” To preserve the sanctity of this important institution, Islam has laid strong emphasis on the moral value of chastity, thereby making it clear that it is the expectation of all Muslims to live chaste, faithful lives.

Islam’s religious scripture, the Holy Qur'an, has even provided the means for maintaining chastity. It directs believing men and women to restrain themselves from looking at each so openly as to be sexually excited by them. It further directs them to restrain from listening to flirtatious and tempting talk and to avoid occasions which might lead to temptation. The Quran, thus, provides the ingredients and guidance on preserving a chaste life.

Such guidance can help our society marriage woes because it gets to the root of preserving chastity by changing the mindset around the value of sexual relationships. We can see the decline of chastity in our society in a CNN survey three years ago, which indicated that over 95% of Americans had premarital sex. When this intimate act is seen as something you can share with anyone, bonds of marriage weaken.

So, for anyone looking to save the basic human family unit by preserving the sanctity and bond of marriage, Islam’s basic, practical code of conduct guides us to live by a higher standard. By abiding by this higher standard of living, it is we who then become the role models for those who have lost sight of decency.

Read original artilcle here: Putting the faith in faithfulness

Harris Zafar is a contributing member of Majlis Sultan-ul Qalam, USA (MSQ USA). He engages in interfaith dialogue to highlight similarities among religions.  His rational views on Islam bring a fresh perspective. He speaks and writes about Islamic issues locally and nationally and believes faith does not require one to abandon logic and reason.