Faith and practice: Heaven is under our mothers’ feet

“Thy Lord has commanded, `Worship none but Him, and show kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with thee, never say unto them any word expressive of disgust nor reproach them, but (always) address them with excellent speech. And lower to them the wing of humility out of tenderness.' And say, `My Lord, have mercy on them even as they nourished me (when I was) a little child.' (17:24, 25)

Ahmadiyya Times | News Watch | US Desk
Source/Credit: Yours Houston News
By Saadia Faruqi | May 3, 2011

What if I told you, don’t celebrate Mother’s Day this year? Imagine the horror millions would feel at the thought of abandoning this beloved holiday. Mothers are loved by everyone, aren’t they?

Let me explain. My concern with Mother’s Day (and Father’s Day and Grandparents Day, and so on) arises as a result of the commercial twist the holiday has taken on in the past few decades. By the highlight of fancy gifts, delicious brunches and beautiful getaways, Mother’s Day has become a showpiece of the many intergenerational challenges in our society today: the constant struggle to maintain a family structure with the need for independence felt by younger family members.

There was a time when a mother was revered for what she stood for: a pillar of the family around which everyone, young and old, revolved and upon whom they depended. Most religions speak of this bond with affection; certainly Islam has laid down very strong guidelines for the treatment of parents, especially mothers, all year long.


The Quran says this: “Thy Lord has commanded, `Worship none but Him, and show kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with thee, never say unto them any word expressive of disgust nor reproach them, but (always) address them with excellent speech. And lower to them the wing of humility out of tenderness.' And say, `My Lord, have mercy on them even as they nourished me (when I was) a little child.' (17:24, 25)

What we see today is less than this perfect picture of love, tenderness and humility toward our mothers. The responsibility of the care of the aged is gradually shifting from individuals to the state or to the private sector such as nursing homes. At the same time children are almost expected to grow apart from their parents under the label of “generation gap” even before they enter their teens.

This sad state of affairs did not happen overnight, though. I am reminded of a joke that tells the story perfectly. A young child was observing with much pain and unease the ill treatment of his grandfather at the hands of his father. Granddad was gradually transferred from a well-provided and comfortable bedroom to a smaller and less convenient accommodation until it was finally decided to remove him to an external facility.
During an exceptionally severe winter, the grandfather complained of his room being too chilly and his quilt being too thin, at which the father started looking for an extra blanket from a stock of old, useless rags. Observing this, the child turned to his father and said, “Please don’t give all the rags to Granddad. Keep some for me so that I can too give them to you when you grow old.”

So how do Hallmark holidays such as Mother’s Day, although a nice gesture, compound the problem? They encourage complacency, urging us to do our duty and make that once-a-year phone call, take her out to eat at a fancy restaurant or mail her a brightly wrapped gift. Slowly but surely we forget the respect and obedience we owe her every single day of the year. We consider her an inconvenience, stop including her in important decisions, and spend more time with friends and spouses than with her.

On the other hand, women who are alert to this danger can and do take preventive steps within their own families. Even when their children grow older, they remain deeply bonded to the past as well as the future generations of their families. Their innate ability to look after those who stand in need of care comes to the rescue of the older members of their families.

Thus, they teach their children to continue the tradition of caring for their elders, especially themselves, when the time comes. It is mothers like these that Islam refers to as “having heaven under their feet.” Serving them leads to God’s pleasure, and their own actions lay the foundation of a heavenly society here on earth.
So let me rephrase my initial sentence: Don’t celebrate Mother’s Day on May 8 alone – celebrate it every day of the year.

Saadia Faruqi is a member of the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community’s Houston North chapter. For more information about this organization, visit www.alislam.org.

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